В СССР всё спокойно. Московскую Академию наук не волнует, является ли параллелограмм трапецией.
My father,you know,he was not a good man,he was not.And I have no right to forgive him,the things he had done,you know,it`s not my thing to do,to forgive him.It would be such a betrayl,I`ll betray the others by doings so,especially my mother.It`s not my duty to forgive him,I do not forgive him,he still has the weight of his sins,but I still love him,I do.I hope it`s okay.I`m not allowed to tell this to anyone,you know,they will be so upset,and it still feels like betrayal.But.He was my father,how can I just not?He never loved my mother and I must be so stupid for assuming he might have at least loved me in his own twisted way,but it`s kind of our family thing,we don`t know how to show our affection,we are afraid to.I must be so naive to believe he felt something,I feel so guilty every damned second for loving him.Al least I had enough strength not to forgive him,`cause thingh he`d done were great,and I don` t mean it a good way.They were truly great,but terrifying.
Never wanted to tell this,but it`s stuck in my head and I can keep this up oh for so long,but it`s still not long enough.Just had to spill my guts out here.
You know,I hate it about myself,but when I start speaking about feelings I have to force words out and I feel dirty all over,like I`m totally not doing the right thing,I have to quit,but I cant `cause sometimes I feel like I`m gonna explode,and a feeling of shame and guilt after writing something like this is still much more familiar and a lot better than a break down,I don`t have time for these and I just can`t do this to the others,they`ll be so worried so upset.I can`t let them down,I`m selfish,and that could be the end of me.
Never wanted to tell this,but it`s stuck in my head and I can keep this up oh for so long,but it`s still not long enough.Just had to spill my guts out here.
You know,I hate it about myself,but when I start speaking about feelings I have to force words out and I feel dirty all over,like I`m totally not doing the right thing,I have to quit,but I cant `cause sometimes I feel like I`m gonna explode,and a feeling of shame and guilt after writing something like this is still much more familiar and a lot better than a break down,I don`t have time for these and I just can`t do this to the others,they`ll be so worried so upset.I can`t let them down,I`m selfish,and that could be the end of me.