You are better off without me.I tried my best,which is not good at all,and I am so sorry.I didn`t want to tell this,but I just have to.You need to know that I`m really sorry,I`m such am awful person and I`m so not fucking worth of anything;if not for my mother,I`d be better off dead,so I`m here just because she is.And I`m sorry I made you believe I`m something good sometimes,I`m sorry I maybe made you need me.I`m sorry for everything you had to come through because of me.I do hope you can get over it,I hope you have already gotten over it.And it`s the first time I have desent wi-fi in weeks and I`m drunk as shit and I hate myself fiercely and I don`t really try to make you forgive me or anything,I`m just that stupid sometimes and I never was as strong as I pretended to be and there is so much shit happening right now and I have my duties and responsibilities and I just can`t fuck up `cause I`m just holding this all together somehow and I don`t know who to thank for that `cause it`s never me.And hell if I make any sence right now and it`s just weird like that,but the main point of this all was to apologise anyway,so again,I`m sorry for being a dick, I`m just too dumb sometimes and I hurt peple all the time and just don`t know how to stop `cause I can seem like a redneck like that but that`s how I show my affection and sympathy,that`s how I roll,I just don`t know any other way to show that I care.And for my family I care much,they`re my whole meaning,that`s kind of my job to take care of all of them in every way I can.And I'm still a jerk but a jerk with a martyr complex the size of texas,which is so much worse.Fuck,it`s gettin` really hard to concentrate,so.You were like family to me,you really were.But you know,I fuck up so much,I fuck up all the time,and I haven`t heard you voise in like forever and you`ll be better without me, `cause I`d better not drag people in the mess that is my family.`cause I don`t want this for you,so I`m sorry,but you better run,befre I`ll make it even worse.I`m really sorry